This month we have been exploring the theme of paradox. To introduce this theme, Senior Minister, Bill Sinkford, offered this definition:
The word comes to us from Greek and originally meant simply “contrary opinion,” a different point of view. But the concept has come to represent those truths that refuse to be contained in a single point of view, seen through a single lens, heard from a single voice…truths complex and contradictory enough that they must be held in tension…Truths contrary enough to shock us into new ways of seeing and…so the mystics say…into new ways of being. (March 3, 2019)
Conflict is inherent in paradox. Conflict can be defined simply as occurring when there are different opinions and experiences. Unitarian Universalism is in a time of paradox, when we are beginning to understand that our search for truth and
meaning cannot be seen through a single lens or heard from a single voice; that the belief that there is a single lens and a single voice is deeply embedded in our culture; that our institutions are shot through with white supremacy.
In these past few weeks, Unitarian Universalism has once again been rocked by the naming of institutionalized white supremacy and experienced once again how deeply it is ingrained in our psyches and structures. In this case, white supremacy
manifests as a demand gender binary, denies gender fluidity, and defines restrictive and dangerous gender norms and behaviors.
In January of this year, the Trans Religious professional Unitarian Universalists Together or TRUUsT released the results of a survey of trans UUs. In their report, TRUUsT uses the word “trans” expansively “to refer to all people whose gender identities (or lack thereof) do not align, according to mainstream expectations, with their birth-assigned sex.” This report named the lack of inclusion that trans UUs feel in their congregations and in the denomination. As has been mentioned from this pulpit, the UU World article on this report caused further pain by excluding trans voices, spreading misinformation, and focusing on body parts and hormones instead of on the experiences of trans people. The damage caused by this article has been outlined in depth on-line; I encourage you to read the report, the article, and the analysis.
In response, TRUUsT has called for cisgender people to listen when trans people speak, to amplify trans UU voices, and “to understand this as a moment for learning, increased accountability, and spiritual growth.” Cisgender is a term for people whose gender identity matches, according to mainstream expectations, the sex that they were assigned at birth. As a cisgender person, I am responding to that call this morning. And, as a cisgender person, I come bringing an experience that does not include being trans and does not represent all cisgender people. My hope for this morning is that cisgender people learn about the experiences of and feel the pain that trans people are feeling and have been feeling for a long time, suffering without being heard. For those here this morning who are cisgender, I invite you to listen with an open mind and heart.
This morning may be challenging for those of us who are trans, queer, non-binary, gender-fluid. In order to support the pastoral needs of anyone who is trans and/or non-binary, we are offering safe space after this service in the Channing Room next door in the Buchan building. Bill will be there to greet you.
With the intention of centering trans voices, we bring the words of the TRUUsT report into the sanctuary this morning. Grace Maute will say a few words then read the executive summary of the TRUUsT report. It’s about 5 minutes long, so I invite you to take a breath, lean in, and listen.
Grace:
Good morning. My name is Grace and my pronouns are they/them. Thank you, Reverend Mary, for centering my community this morning. Today is Trans Day of Visiblity, which is a national day to recognize the beauty and struggles of the transgender community. It’s actually a coincidence that this sermon is on trans day of visibility. I’m finding a lot of beauty and comfort in that coincidence this morning.
For my sake, and especially for the sake of trans people of color and other trans folks living at the margins, I hope that you will take these words to heart.
Executive Summary of the TRUUsT Report on Trans UUs
Unitarian Universalism has long taken pride in being an LGBTQ-welcoming faith and welcoming people of all gender identities and sexual orientations. Yet the experiences of trans people in our congregations have not reflected the values and aspirations of this faith. For the first time, this report provides a snapshot of trans UUs and their experiences in Unitarian Universalism.
In the spring of 2018, a survey of trans UUs was conducted as a joint endeavor between TRUUsT (Trans Religious professional Unitarian Universalists Together) and the Unitarian Universalist Association (Multicultural Ministries office). 278 people responded, representing an incredible diversity of identities and experiences.
Who are trans Unitarian Universalists?
- The majority of trans UUs are non-binary (do not identify exclusively as women or men); are queer, pansexual, or bisexual; have one or more disabilities; are young adults; are white; and attend a UU congregation at least once a month.
- When compared with the Unitarian Universalist population as a whole, trans UUs are far more low-income (almost half do not have enough income to meet their personal needs), are more likely to have been raised UU, are younger, and are more racially diverse.
What are the experiences of trans Unitarian Universalists in our congregations?
- Lack of spiritual connection and care: Only 44% of trans UUs feel spiritually connected and nourished at their congregation—and only 15% feel strongly spiritually connected. Only about half of trans UUs who have a UU minister feel comfortable seeking pastoral care from them. A majority of trans UUs who attend a congregation feel responsible for education on trans identity or concerns.
- Lack of inclusion: 72% of trans UUs do not feel as though their congregation is completely inclusive of them as trans people. The highest levels of lack of full inclusion are experienced by people of color (85%), young adults (84%) and non-binary people (82%).
- Marginalization: 42% of trans UUs regularly experience trans-related marginalization in UU spaces. Higher levels of trans-related marginalization are experienced by people of color (54%), non-binary people (53%), and disabled folks (48%).
- Reasons for leaving: Other than moving away, trans UUs have left UU congregations most often due to trans-related marginalization; other identity-related oppression such as racism, classism, ableism, and ageism; hypocrisy; unfulfilling worship/spiritual experiences; and abuse or bullying.
How can all Unitarian Universalists take action to support trans UUs?
- There are five key ways that UUs can take action to increase this faith’s inclusion of trans UUs: donate to fund trans UUs’ healing and survival, be an accomplice for trans UUs, hire trans religious professionals, engage in trans education, and engage congregations in taking action on their next move to increase trans access, inclusion, and affirmation.
Let us hold a moment of silence together to sit with this.
~~~~~~
Mary:
Ah, paradox.
Carl Jung said, “The paradox is one of our most valuable spiritual possessions….only the paradox comes anywhere near to comprehending the fullness of life.” There are many paradoxes that I could hold up this morning: intention and impact, unity and diversity, intersectionality. The one that I returned to again and again as I watched these events unfold is the paradox of belonging.
Social researcher Brene Brown defines belonging this way:
Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for true belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. (Braving the Wilderness, p. 31)
There are several parts in the complexity of that definition. First, that the desire to belong is innate. We want to be part of something larger than we are. The core of belonging is “longing”—it is our heart’s desire to be part of something where we are known, accepted, and feel at home.
One of the big questions of life, those questions that bring us to church and keep us up nights, one of those big questions is “Where do I belong?” Our first task of faith formation, what we seek to create for our youngest congregants in the Learning Community, is a sense of belonging. Everything else is built on trust and a sense of belonging.
I love to watch our young people enter the Buchan building on Sunday morning. When the littlest ones easily go into the arms of a teacher that they know, or a second grader runs up the stairs to their class to see their friends, or a youth helps themselves to a cup of coffee on their way to YRUU, I see young people who are saying, “I belong here.”
A message of the TRUUsT report is that most trans UUs do not feel included in their congregation, they do not feel at home. Although they want to, they do not feel, “I belong here.”
The second part of this definition says that any person or place that asks us to be anything other than who and what we are does not offer true belonging. Any time we feel we can fit in only if we hide our authentic and human self, we are being offered only a substitute for belonging. And, that substitute is damaging to bodies, minds and spirits.
This is another message of the TRUUsT report: trans UUs suffer from identity-related oppressions in their congregations as well as out in the world; racism, classism, ableism, bullying, abuse. Violence of many kinds.
And third, this definition suggests that we must belong to ourselves in order to belong to something greater. Brown tells us that “belonging to ourselves means being called to stand (sic) alone when needed—to brave the wilderness of uncertainty, vulnerability and criticism.”
This is also a message in the TRUUsT report. In a space created to center trans voices, trans UUs braved uncertainty, vulnerability and criticism to speak up, to tell their truth, and to demand to be heard. Even in the face of further harm from the UU World article, trans UUs like CB Beal said, “I am right over here. Waving. Drowning.” Individually and through TRUUsT, trans UUs continue to say, “We are here. We belong here.”
True belonging is a paradox because it requires that we be secure alone in order to be able to join with others. It requires that we are grounded enough in our own being that we can bring our full and authentic selves into relationship with others.
Brown says this:
True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being part of something and standing (sic) alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are. (Braving the Wilderness, p. 40)
At the heart of this struggle and longing for belonging is spirituality and spiritual practice. How do we stay connected to who we are and what binds us together when the pull is toward division and cynicism?
With our 7th principle, we affirm and promote the interdependent web of existence of which we are all a part. Our theology tells us that we are all connected, that we all belong. Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast defines mysticism as “the experience of limitless belonging.”
Our infinite web of all existence invites us to experience limitless belonging. When we experience limitless belonging, how might that inform how we are to be together? Our duty to each other? How we show up for each other? How might we be called to make the infinite web of limitless belonging manifest in this world?
Jacinda Ardern, the prime minister of New Zealand, recently gave us an example. After the shootings at the mosques in Christchurch where 50 people died at the hands of a white supremacist, she reached out in mourning to the Muslim community, many of whom were migrants or refugees, saying, “We are one. They are us.” Out of respect and as a sign of unity, she wore a head scarf as she joined many others who attended funerals for the victims. Within just a few days she announced that semi-automatic weapons like those used in the attack will be banned. And she convened a high level inquiry into whether the government could have done more to prevent the attack. Perhaps this is what limitless belonging begins to looks like.
UU minister Lynn Unger offers us this:
The truth is that belonging is not a state, it’s a process. It isn’t something you have, it’s something you build. It takes time, plus the willingness to listen and be wrong and work out a better way, a deeper understanding.
And so, we return to Unitarian Universalism and our congregations. We have work to do to make limitless belonging manifest, to create heaven here on earth. TRUUsT offers individuals and congregations five actions to support trans UUs. They are up on the screen and you can find them in the report. I invite you to consider your next step.
The conflict embedded in paradox holds the invitation to transformation, the possibility that we will leaving old ways and ideas behind. Conflict can divide us. Conflict also has the potential to unite us if we stay committed to relationship, stay in conversation with an open mind and heart, and stay in touch with the fullness of life and the tension of paradox. The choice is ours to make, heaven on earth is ours to create.
From Rosemary Bray McNatt: “Nothing that Unitarian Universalists
need to do is more important than making justice real—here,
where we are. Hard as diversity is, it is our most important task.”
May we have the courage to tend to our most important task that
we may create limitless belonging here, in this congregation,
in this community, in this country, in this world.
May this be so. Blessed Be and Amen.
I invite you now into a time of reflection and prayer.
Infinite Web of Life, Source of Limitless Belonging, Sweet Spirit of Love,
On this day, let us know and feel the infinite connections between us.
On this day, International Transgender Day of Visibility, let us
know and feel the connections especially to all who are trans.
You are seen. You are heard. You are loved. You belong here.
May you feel it to be so.
Spirit of Love, be with all those who suffer violence of all kinds,
for who they are and for whom they love.
May they feel the presence of something greater that holds us all.
May we be present to their being, their stories, their humanity,
and their pain.
As we relish the return of the sun, may the light ignite in us
the flame of love that we may extend limitless belonging to each other
and to all. May the sun’s warmth remind us that kindness builds bridges
and compassion connects souls. May the new life awakening in the Earth awaken in us
the actions needed to respond to the call for justice.
May this be so. Blessed Be and Amen.
Topics: Atonement