Fall is up and running, and things are beginning to speed up. It’s a lot like an old-timey steam locomotive: some huffing and puffing, clanking, bell-ringing, and we are off and moving. Not fast yet, but moving.

So it’s like that here at First Unitarian. We all come back from the summer and get into the swing of things and it feels great to be back on a timeline. Wonderful things are coming down the pike: Thanksgiving, Veterans Day, Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah, New Year’s, classes, and many other things.

That means more work for us. Tom Jefferson said, “It is not wealth and splendor but rather tranquility and labor that make us truly happy.” I have found this to be true. Down at the workbench, we don’t mind more work, but what we do mind is the extra work that people give us.

Let’s talk about the porcelain throne, WC, john, crapper, toilet, can, head, loo, potty. I am always amazed at what people put down the toilet. Many things at First Unitarian are old—myself included—but we have some toilets that are 6 or 7 decades old. We nurse them along because parts are hard to find, if you even can. We are well-known at George Morlan Plumbing (The Water Heater King), and replacing these old toilets would be very expensive.

On a historical note, the toilet was not invented by Thomas Crapper, although he was the first to set up public showrooms for displaying sanitary wares.

We have over 50 toilets to keep up and running here. New York City has the most public toilets in the country with 365, while Portland only has 109. They seem to be like cops: you can never find one when you need one.

So please, please don’t flush anything other than toilet paper down the toilet. If you find one that is broken, tell us, and if you find one with an out-of-order sign, please respect it and go somewhere else to go.

Speaking of going, I have to! So long, gotta run.

~ Michael Two Feathers